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Home and Sad

I'm home again and not very happy. I was doing well until yesterday morning. I was watching one of our cat's exploring the kitchen and I picked him up to give him a hug and it started. I was telling him he needed to take care of Rachel and I started bawling and then Rachel walked into the kitchen and it got worse. On the bus ride to the airport I noticed that my jaw hurt and discovered I had been clinching my teeth to keep from crying. The flights home were bumpy. My knee has been acting up for the last few weeks and the move didn't do it any good. I took four pain pills and had three drinks during the day but they hardly touch the pain. The flight between Philadelphia and Ft. Lauderdale was the worst. I finally had to stop reading and try to sleep in order to get through it. When one really rough patch nearly popped us out of our seats I thought we were done for. The plane looked like a drunken sailor as it cruised in to land in Ft. Lauderdale. Really glad to be back on the ground.

One really sour note is that I lost my camera somewhere during the flights. I checked my bag once in Portland because it was just so heavy to haul up and into one of those overhead compartments. It was hard enough getting up and down those aisles with the knee acting up. When I got home the camera was gone. I could just cry. That camera had all the pictures from the landscaping show, our anniversary trip and the move to Maine which included the pictures I took of my home town. I'm trying to just shrug it off but after everything that has happened lately it's a bit hard. Ah well, life goes on. Plasters on a smile.


( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 19th, 2011 05:14 pm (UTC)
Oh dear. All the rest is bad enough, but to lose a camera and one that's full is just heartbreaking. Hope it shows up
Oct. 19th, 2011 05:19 pm (UTC)
I don't think it will happen this time. Sorry to be such a downer. Hope your move is progressing better. Watch those cats, they can get in the smallest of spaces.
Oct. 19th, 2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
All are locked in a bedroom and they can't get out (and we can't get in)
Oct. 19th, 2011 05:42 pm (UTC)
Oh no, not the camera on top of everything else. I'm sorry you lost so many of your photos.

Feel better soon. *hugs*
Oct. 20th, 2011 11:21 am (UTC)
It will get better. It just doesn't feel like it at the moment. *hugs* Thanks
Oct. 19th, 2011 06:00 pm (UTC)
Sorry to hear about your camera, hon, such a shame of all the lost memories.
Get some rest with that knee! *hugs*
Oct. 20th, 2011 11:20 am (UTC)
I'll try. Thanks
Oct. 19th, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC)
It all takes time. Easier said than done I know.
There's nothing wrong with crying though... better let it out. Rest that knee now hun and take of yourself.

I'm sorry you lost the camera on top of everything else.
Losing something so personal as pictures is always sad.
Don't shrug it off hun, you have a right to be anger and sad.

*hugs tightly*
Oct. 20th, 2011 11:20 am (UTC)
thanks I needed that.
Oct. 19th, 2011 10:06 pm (UTC)
oh bon, i am so, so sorry! it sounds like 'a perfect storm' of rotten stuff just hit you all at once. i'm sending lots of good wishes and love (and i'll toss in a few mojitos, too!).
Oct. 20th, 2011 11:19 am (UTC)
Mmmmmm mojitos.
Oct. 19th, 2011 10:10 pm (UTC)
Oh, sweetheart. *hugs* I'm so sorry.
Oct. 20th, 2011 11:18 am (UTC)
Thanks. I have the best flist in the world.
Oct. 19th, 2011 11:26 pm (UTC)
That's just awful *hugs you tight*

Oct. 20th, 2011 11:18 am (UTC)
thanks *hugs back*
Oct. 20th, 2011 03:08 am (UTC)
I am so sorry, sweetheart!!!! *cuddles you very gently and loves*
Oct. 20th, 2011 11:17 am (UTC)
*snuggles into the cuddles*
Oct. 20th, 2011 06:40 am (UTC)
Well, bugger. :( You know, crying can be very therapeutic, so I really think you should have just let it out rather than trying to keep on a brave face. It sucks that your knee is playing up too, and losing the camera, well, that just caps it all of nicely, doesn't it?

I recommend a vat of wine to drown your sorrows and deaden the pain. :( I totally reckon you should spend an evening wallowing in feeling miserable. That'll make it easier to get past it if you allow yourself to rail and grieve. *hugstight*
Oct. 20th, 2011 11:16 am (UTC)
I love the recommendation. I was thinking about some wine last night but then when I got home I just gave out and went to bed early. The knee even feels a bit better today. *crosses fingers*
Oct. 22nd, 2011 10:12 am (UTC)
Sorry Bon I missed all this. I don't come to LJ as much as I used to. You may have lost the photos but you haven't lost the memories, and they remain good memories. I have photos, but some of the memories aren't so good now, so you are fortunate:)
Oct. 23rd, 2011 05:44 pm (UTC)
I know that feeling in the jaw, or the tightness of the neck muscles. Been there. Here's hoping your camera turns up after all (who knows, right?) I can just imagine how much that would push me over if i was already emotional.
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )


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